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However, three risk factors of sleeping around, or unattached sex still remains, for most women –1) Once we do something, regardless of whether we don’t EVER tell anyone we did it – our neurology has experienced it and something internally still DROVE us to make these choices. I theorise, probably dumbly so, since I’m not an expert – I theorise that men do this gossiping about easy sex to warn each other (their own sex), just like women gossip about ‘jerks’ who make bad or abusive boyfriends – men spread pictures, videos, and gossip about women they have casually slept with.
And if we mainly practice unattached sex, we are avoiding the deeper parts of ourselves that truly want to surrender in trust to a trustworthy man – our body can, over time, train to send messages to men that we are ‘the one of many’ rather than the ‘one and only’. High value men looking to devote themselves will be able to read what a woman is all about through our body faster than we even get the opportunity to verbally tell them anything about ourselves. This is possibly because on a primal level, in our tribal days – this information was CRUCIAL to the future reproductive safety of all men – why?
The real question is – does your heart, deep down, want a totally devoted, committed and loving man who looks at you like there’s no other woman on earth?
(permission to fall in a heap whilst admitting this, and you won’t be the only one).
(Click here to take the quiz on How High Value High Status am I on Facebook?
)In other words, some men become more disrespectful and insensitive towards the women that they get easy sex from.
But WHY isn’t this just about men taking responsibility? Our bodies aren’t designed to sex men for our egos and for the fun of it – without feeling some sort of pain or shock or ‘being taken advantage of’ at some point.
Women simply risk paying a price for having sex before enough attraction and commitment has been established, and therefore the man has had a chance to be tested (by her) to see if he is willing to invest himself (find out tests for commitment here). It’s not even about being ‘easy’ or about being judged…that doesn’t matter because people will judge you whichever way serves their own ego.
But more importantly – what, on a reproductive/biological level, do men sacrifice? The more a man is eagerly looking to sleep around, the lower quality women (low mate value) he has to settle for in that act.
But quality is still the sacrifice for a promiscuous man – and that’s why men will try to get the highest value woman they can for a relationship – and have low standards for casual sex.
If you’re a woman who’s NOT interested in a man’s commitment – still consider how and if having casual sex affects how you show up in the future. It’s not that sleeping around has a cost – it’s that has a cost. What matters is we do what we do; and are we REALLY emotionally attuned to the potential outcomes of our sexual choices?