She was pretty cute, but the language barrier was simply too big to cross.

This goes back to what I discussed in point one: given that most Filipinas speak passable English, why waste your time on one who can barely grunt out Filipino culture isn’t exactly intellectual to begin with; at times, it feels like this place got frozen in time somewhere around 1987.

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This kind of game is an obvious power play: if you accede to her demands and change up your plans on her whim, she will be dictating the frame of the relationship.

For example, the first time a girl tried this on me, we had agreed to meet at a coffeeshop that was just up the street from my house in downtown Davao.

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I politely told her no, then blocked her number from my phone.

(I also later found out that she had hid the fact that she was a single mother from me.) This game is probably the most insidious as the girl doesn’t start fucking with you until just before your date, but there are plenty of others you need to look out for as well.

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I’m both enormously sick and hard at work trying to pull myself out of the huge pile of work I’m buried in, so here are some thoughts I’ve picked up on dating and smashing Filipino girls for the past month. Yes, in a good number of cases, all you need to do is show up and not be a weirdo to get the pussy.

While most of the girls I’ve known send typo-filled English texts, I can understand them easily, and we can have conversations where I display my wit and wisdom. Attempting to woo them over a cup of coffee will be torturous because they won’t understand you say.

In a country where English is so widely used and learning it is mandatory, what does that say about girls who can barely write in it? I made the mistake of trying to date one girl who could only send illiterate one-syllable word texts, and most of our “date” consisted of me pantomiming with my arms hoping and praying something would penetrate her thick skull.

For example, if a Filipina starts whining at etc.), next her.