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(Have never known dh to buy any and thought they were more for teenager/single men).Couples seem to use dvds etc together but that's a different thing if a joint venture.
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Communication and trust is hugely important and anything you're unhappy with you must tell him.
As you say your self-confidence has been knocked by the birth and the affects on your 'ladybits' so you need reassurance and patience. Unfortunately people do suffer through it, both sides of the camera. He will probably feel bad if he allowed you to give him gratification but you couldn't receive any yourself, so this is the simpler option.
It's the humanitarian in me you just don't know the situation that some of those women (or even men) are in to act in such films.
Some are forced(raped), and even at best coerced into being filmed.
Personally I think there is nothing wrong with it and the fact you would be hurt by him watching videos that turn him on baffles me for me it's not a question of insecurity but of values.
I personally could not watch something that may cause suffering to somebody somewhere just so that I could get my rocks off, so to speak.
He tells me it's just a visual aid and means nothing, nothing emotional etc yet he wouldn't be ok with me doing it!
I don't think any of this is ok unless you know about it and are happy with it.
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