While all that saccharine jazz may indeed ring true for the well-adjusted sort who eats five servings of vegetables a day and calls his mom every Monday at P.

M., it doesn't necessarily apply to the enigma that is "the damaged and dysfunctional man". He is a wounded soul, a broken arrow, and most likely suffering from a gnarly yet undiagnosed "Cluster B" personality disorder.

The macho dysfunctional type is allergic to Facebook, or, more accurately, your friend request.

These two dated for a little under two years- the engagement was officially broken off when he went away with friends for the weekend (a preplanned trip to Tampa that she was aware of and tolerant of, not something last minute).

She decided that she didn’t want him going as he was leaving, and told him so, but he left anyway and told her they could discuss when he got back.

If you work with him, he will arrive early and spend his pre-clock coffee time longingly gazing outside his office window, eagerly anticipating your arrival. This information will typically be sought out within the first three minutes of seeing him, and with the subtlety of a Mac truck going 100 miles per hour. Call me crass, or more pointedly, totally irresponsible. But if he knows that you aren't on any method of birth control, yet has no qualms about taking orgasmic liberties with your vaginal canal, this backwards bachelor foresees a future not just with you, but your potential demon seeds. He sounds like a skipping CD of that annoying yet infectious "Pit Bull" song "I Know You Want Me". But it doesn't take a degree in abnormal psychology to figure out that your on pretty heavy rotation in his romantic fantasy file. Unlike the stereotypical "bad man" in a Lifetime movie, the damaged man will slyly keep tabs on you.

The blinds on said window are broken and bent from his coffee laden hands ripping them apart in desperate search of your Hyundai Sonata. He wants to create a picturesque suburban house of cards based on a mind altering, infinite dose of L. "You're like, totally obsessed with me"', he scoffs. I bet you think about me every night before you go to bed". He is suave, and, to the untrained eye, entirely inconspicuous, much like an off duty police officer in a seedy club.

Why would anyone want to date such a man, you may ask?

While that issue is perhaps best reserved for another whole article, there is one of two possibilities.

I have a brother who just broke off an engagement and he is crushed.

He typically has gone for women who have had issues with the men in their lives (fathers, brothers).

The lazy dysfunctional man, who can't be bothered with creating Roy Watsons, will simply suggest that you friend request his best wingman, because his friend "likes to be friends with a lot of hot girls". As a means of punishing you for the malicious wrongdoing of actually taking his advice, he will act out his aggression passively. Three weeks later, he straight up doesn't feel like it.

For instance, after you tell him you shared a soda at the hop with the Fonze, he promises to fix your sliding closet doors. Four weeks later, he wholesale denies ever promising to fix your closet, leaving you irritated and speed dialing the handyman.

Notwithstanding, the man vehemently insists that he has no feelings for you.