Dating an extrovert insecure
Negotiate in advance the amount of socializing you’ll do as a couple on any given weekend, month, or year. That way, you don’t have to argue about it night after night.
In my book, I tell the story of a husband who wanted to host a dinner party every Friday night, and a wife who hated giving parties.
They will not be the life of the party, a social butterfly, or an amazing group conversationalist.
However, they might be extremely polite, quietly amused in social situations, and very intuitive in your post-social, private time.” In other words, see your introvert for who he or she is, and value the good.
This enabled the wife to have more one-on-one conversations, instead of feeling compelled to “perform” in front of a larger group. How much to talk after a long day of work: At the end of the day, extroverts often come home longing for conversation, while introverts need to recharge alone.
These differences can leave extroverts feeling abandoned, and introverts feeling pressured.
If the same issue comes up at home—perhaps in the kitchen or in bed at night—one person could agree to wear headphones. How to laugh at your differences: One of the primary differences between introverts and extroverts is how much stimulation they prefer.
Introverts generally appreciate less stimulating environments–-a glass of wine with a close friend rather than a loud party full of strangers. For instance, my husband and I have profoundly different reactions to airports.This can leave introverts feeling harassed, and extroverts feeling stonewalled. Each partner needs to take a page from the other’s playbook.Extroverts should count to ten before raising issues calmly and respectfully –and consider letting some grievances go unaired.One idea is for the extrovert to grant the introvert an hour of private time at the end of the day.Having replenished himself, he may feel better able to energetically engage with his partner. How to handle conflicts: Extroverts tend to be “confrontive” copers, while introverts are more likely to withdraw at the first sign of conflict.Introverts, on the other hand, often feel grateful that their extroverted partners make the atmosphere light-hearted and casual – and that they do so much of the talking.