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How can you erase these kinds of self-sabotaging behaviors? In my case, this meant, "We no longer speak of the past". Moving to this stage of the relationship healing process means you've adopted some new ways of thinking, being and doing, and are now ready to start putting your work into action.
It also means finally taking stock of both you your partner, and what each of you needs and wants in a healthy relationship. It's just a matter of constantly evolving and allowing for the connection between the two of you to grow, evolve, and build to greater heights.
The insight you've gained will now be put to work to help both of you get what you need and want in your relationship.
That being said, this last step definitely isn't easy, and it takes a considerable amount of time.
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These, my friends, are beliefs, and they could easily be holding you back. And creating a healthy relationship is dependent on you outlining these destructive behaviors with the intent of demolishing them.
So if we go back to the beliefs section, I'll bet that you've got a few in there that you can easily see are self-sabotaging.
So, instead, grab a free app like Insight Timer, or just sit and calm yourself. Tell yourself you're going to have only ten (or twenty) minutes to do nothing, and that you can come back to whatever you need to attend to when you're done.
Then, once you're calm, review your relationship as if you were an editor of a movie, reviewing the tape of the entire experience. Do you feel happy, sad, frustrated, or angry reviewing your "tapes"?
I have been searching for my soulmate for a long time without any success.