Online communication can be a cryptic labyrinth of hidden meanings at times.

You can’t see the squinting eyes, the shrugging shoulders, or the nervous sweating—who knows if that tongue-sticking-out emoji is really sincere?

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If the guy you are with on the first date treats wait staff, box office attendants or others disrespectfully or rudely, he is showing his true colors.

He is also demonstrating that he is a jerk and is likely unaware of how uncomfortable his behavior makes you feel.

As a rule of thumb, 2 years or more is a good yardstick go by, give or take.

What is important is this – he has been out of his same sex relationship. Instead of manning up and telling you that, he is flirting with other dudes.

And hey, there is nothing wrong with hooking up – but aren’t you wanting something a little more? If however the guy you are going out on a date with is going on forever and a day about his life, his job, his car, his family, his dogs …his, his his ….

There is likely going to be problems with compatibility.

In gay years the phrase “long term” can often differ from straight folks.

A long term relationship for a gay man can be subjective at best.

Feeling excited and a little nervous, you look hard in the mirror and think to yourself: Seriously, going on a first date can be a bit of a challenge.

This is particularly true for gay men who are new to the dating scene or have been off the market for an extended period of time.

If you notice that he is pounding back glass after glass of wine (or some other drink) and that he is encouraging you to do the same – run.